my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this
look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit
if there was a post to describe australia, this is it
you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird?
that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up?
fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you?
wake up australia
That’s what birds do
They fly around and fuck shit up
Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country
Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit
It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel.
Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do
yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes
why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they’re going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called “swooping season” and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it’s fucking brutal.
My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us.
no but when you’re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange
what the actual fuck australia
i DON’T RECOMMEND DATING ANYONE WITH MIND CONTROL ABILITIES,
I spent… my entire afternoon… on this.
*everybody on tumblr suddenly feels guilty for ignoring tumblrbot*
TUMBLRBOT BBG I’M SORRY FORGIVE ME
DECK THE HALLS WITH SALT AND HUNTERS
TIS THE SEASON TO WEAR JUMPERS
DON WE NOW OUR PLAID AND SHOTGUN
IMPALALA LALALA LA LA LA
JOIN ME NOW AND WE’LL HAVE MORE FUN
SEE THE BLAZING SALTED GRAVE
THE FAMILY BUSINESS IS TO SAVE
SEXY CARS AND FALLEN ANGELS
IMPALALA LALALA LALALA
WHAT THE FUCK NOTHING RHYMES WITH ANGEL
Sorry mom I’m dropping out of highschool and enrolling at Namco High
there is a bright-orange bird boy I need to seduce
Donna and Ten have the funniest relathionship.
The difference between Ten & Eleven.
Big gappy smile
The girl who was my elementary school girl friend just got engaged and I’m sitting here single wearing a pug shirt and hamburger underwear
Just remember, u r someone’s dream girl
I’m a boy
Tumblr has made us forget that some people are actually straight
well this is an awkward sequence of assumptions
when i laugh at things on the internet i dont even laugh i just blow more air out of my nose than usual
this post makes me so angry because you know what i did upon reading it
blew more fucking air out of my nose than usual
I DID THAT WHEN I READ THE FUCKING SECOND THING